Are You Open To Receiving This Holiday Season?
As you are busy giving and sharing your talents, time, energy, and yummy baked goods…please join me in opening up some space in your holiday experience to receive…
There are three practices that I have been personally working on over the past few years…and they are all related.
Giving…receiving… and gratitude
I am very good at giving… in fact, I love it… but the key for me was to give without expectations, and when I adopted the practice of gratitude, it changed my life… but receiving… that is a whole different story. I am terrible at receiving. And I know I am not the only one. I have observed artists, actors, singers, and instrumentalist work for months on a piece, give a stellar performance, and when it came time to receive the compliments, their body and facial reactions clearly showed how painful it was to receive the kind words or applause. It became so difficult for me to received applause that when it came time to bow, I would do this short little half-bow and scurry off stage. It was an external display of my internal belief.
Even as my awareness of receiving increased, I came up with some sneaky ways to not fully receive. I’d say things like, “Ohhh, I know, isn’t that a great piece of music. That composer is wonderful.” “Yes, this space is such a great place to sing…it makes everyone sound glorious.”
What on earth is going on?
Why could I not celebrate in the moment with how that person experienced what I gave?
Well… off the top of my head, how about holding distorted ideas of control, personal responsibility, meeting expectations, worthiness, trust, humility, and isolation. It is my work to figure out what is at the core of this behavior for me. The root of those triggers will be different for everyone. I am dedicated to the work.
In my search to open up to receiving, I was introduced to Star Staubauch at stellarevolutioncoaching.com – after watching one of her videos I grabbed a post-it note and wrote a simple yet powerful sentence….”I am committed to receive.” Even that tiny action created a shift in me. I noticed how many times a day wonderful things came my way, but also noticed how open or closed I was to receiving them as a gesture of love. I had to make a behavior shift. When someone offered to help me, I decided not to respond with… “Oh no, that’s okay, I got this.” Instead, I said, “Thank you,” and opened myself up to receive help. When someone gave me a compliment on my singing, I purposely didn’t deflect their gift or smile and change the subject, I opened myself up to receive from him or her the sincere words and celebrated the collaborative process of giving and receiving with them. It is scary and I still feel super vulnerable during this process. But I also see it as a way to truly honor the other person. So, when I fully receive… I fully give. Cool, huh?
As we head into this abundant season of giving of time, energy, love… and baked goods, I would love it if you joined me in creating space in your life for receiving.
Here are three steps to help you along the way…
Step 1. Create and write down your own powerful statement about receiving. Post it somewhere you can see it often everyday.
Step 2. Open yourself up to all complements and offers of help or care. Notice how you receive them and give yourself permission to allow any internal walls to dissolve and celebrate with others in your giving /receiving exchange.
Step 3. Break the complaining habit. In our search to improve, minimize your complaints. Nurture the belief that all things happen for a reason and there are no accidents. Everything always works out for your good. Complaining takes you out of gratitude and appreciation. I have personally experienced the benefits of problem-solving from a place of appreciation rather than fear or anger.
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy receiving to you!
Will you join me in receiving this season?
I would love to hear from – share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Do you have a break- through receiving story….do tell!
December 1, 2013
Love the tips you offer, Tricia and I appreciate your sharing your personal experience and how you made the shift. I’ve noticed that I habitually deflect offers of assistance and then complain to myself – when I’m the one who said “no” to help! I’m off to write my own receiving story :).
December 3, 2013
Thanks so much, Lori! Yes, I have done the same thing – so funny when we can actually see our contrary behaviors. Hope you writing goes well…let me know where I can read your story.
December 2, 2013
Very timely tips Tricia! I love the specificity you shared. It makes it very tangible and thus doable!
December 3, 2013
I am so glad, Alyssa 🙂 Thanks for your comment!
December 2, 2013
Oh my gosh – this is exactly what I’ve gone through. I also talk about how important giving, gratitude, and receiving are, and by FAR the hardest for me is receiving. My current relationship has been the biggest lesson for me – he is always doing for me, and it used to be really hard for me. My issues have definitely been personal responsibility (I should take care of everything) and guilt (I don’t want someone else to “go out of their way”). But you are absolutely right – to him it is a gift he is giving me, and if I don’t receive I am taking that away from him.
Thanks for the great post!
December 3, 2013
Emily, thanks so much for reading and for sharing your experience. I love that you have someone in your life that is helping you to receive. That is awesome!The circle of giving and receiving is a beautiful thing 🙂 Thanks again for sharing!
December 9, 2013
Having tools for receiving is so helpful! Thank you Tricia! When I remember that giving and receiving are the same energy I can open to the joy I feel giving and allow it to flow when I am receiving!
December 11, 2013
Thanks, Kelly for your comment. I too love seeing it as the same energy…a beautiful circle. Have a beautiful holiday season!